the day before

Today is the four year anniversary of the last day that I would consider life normal. 

It wasn't May 18th, the day before Lucy was diagnosed with cancer, because even in that moment life -- although different from the path we would have chosen-- was still on a normal path.

It was just our new normal.

But today, our day to day seemingly continued along the new path. 

The kids were doing well with all the changes that the last 5 months had brought.

Ike was growing and learning despite his unusual daily surroundings.

Lucy was cancer free. 

She was healing.

To everyone involved in her case she was doing great.

We were all in a state of hope with how things were progressing.

Talking about what the future held.

The stories she would have to tell.

Conferring with her doctors about getting back home.

Planning her a huge birthday party to celebrate what she had overcome.

Nothing hinted that there could be any other path.

Tomorrow was supposed to be just another day.

She was going to finally get the damn tubes out and be able to speak.

We were supposed to finally be able to lay with her again.

Hold her.

Brush our cheeks against her soft, fuzzy head.

Even at 10, when her temperature was low, it didn't set off alarms. 

It was Goose being Goose, all part of our new normal.

It wouldn't be until early tomorrow morning that concern would begin to grow.

Concern that would quickly turn to panic.

And within hours it would all be over.

All hopes shattered.

Life was never going to be the same.

No more normal.

There is only everything that comes after.

A few favorites.