Ideas of perfection

The perfect family. How many times have I heard this comment from random strangers since Goose passed? More than I can stand, and yet each time I am so dumbfounded and screaming in my head NO!, but all I can manage is a polite smile and a nod. I realize these are in fact complete strangers. People who have no idea of the hell we have endured. They just see mom, dad, 2 sons and 2 daughters. Perfection apparently. Fifteen years ago when I would dream of life as Mrs. Andrew Bradford, I thought we would have four kids- 2 girls, 2 boys. But in May of 2011, Lucy "surprised" us all. And I can painfully admit, that I took it hard the first day or two. My vision of perfection was gone, and instead I found myself to soon be the mother of three girls and a son. From the moment she entered our world though, I couldn't imagine life without my Goosey girl. And now, just barely three years later, I am forced to. I am the mother of FIVE children. My perfection was 5. Not 4. My HELL is now being the mother of only 4 living children. 

The healthiest photo we have as a family of 7.

The last photo we have as a family of 7, the day before Goose was diagnosed. We always assumed we would have time for another. Never assume anything.